What About Us?
by causeobviously098617
Summary: AU - when Matthew Crawley goes to stay at the home of Richard Carlisle and his wife Mary, he did not expect what he would find... Mary and Matthew embark on a loving affair, but will it work out like they hope?
1. Chapter 1

This is a very AU story but actually I think it's going to be good. Please please review and tell me what you think! It's inspired by Birdsong

Chapter 1

When Matthew set off to the home of Richard Carlisle he did not know what he had expected but it was not what he discovered. He had been sent to stay with Carlisle to find out more about his newspaper business as Carlisle was a new client for his law firm. He was to stay there for several weeks and shadow Carlisle in his day to day work. Normally, his firm did not usually pay so much attention to a client, but Carlisle was different. He was the wealthiest, most influential and important client that they had ever had and impressing him was vital for the law firm. All of these facts had prepared him only for several weeks of grovelling and boring talks of business but the reality was very different.

….

"Ah, Mr Crawley, it is so good to have you with us." said Richard Carlisle.

He gave Matthew a small smile which did not meet his shrewd eyes as he looked Matthew up and down, clearly sizing him up.

"Thank you Sir Richard, I am very much looking forward to working with you and finding out more about the business" said Matthew, politely.

"Let me introduce you to my wife" said Richard. "Matthew, may I present Lady Mary Carlisle my wife."

When Matthew saw Mary, he could not believe his eyes. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her eyes sparkled and when she smiled in greeting, Matthew was stunned. Before she had even spoken a word, he could feel himself falling for her.

"I trust your journey was not too taxing Mr Crawley." She said with a dazzling smile and when she grasped his hand briefly in greeting, Matthew had to stop himself from not letting go.

"Yes thank you, the train was on time and quite comfortable" Matthew replied.

"Well, it is lovely that you are here." Said Mary, her face that of a perfect hostess.

"Thank you Lady Mary" said Matthew.

"Please call me Mary" said Mary.

"Then I insist that you call me Matthew." Said Matthew.

Although he could not put his finger on it, Richard Carlisle was not entirely comfortable with the exchange and decided that now was the time to stop it.

"Well, I must insist that I show you your room so that you can get settled in." said Richard.

"I would be grateful" said Matthew.

"I shall see you at dinner Matthew" said Mary, taking her leave.

…..

That night at dinner, Matthew was shocked to see two children at the table. The eldest was a girl who was about fifteen or sixteen and the younger who looked to be about ten years old. He did not realise that Carlisle had had children and Mary looked nowhere near old enough to have two children of those ages.

"These are my children Louisa and Luke." Said Richard. "Children, this is Mr Crawley who will be staying for a while. They do not usually join Mary and I for dinner but I felt that since it was your first night that you should meet."

Matthew was seated next to Mary which pleased him enourmously and they were enjoying a lovely chat.

"Forgive me for being so direct, but you look too young to have such grown up children" said Matthew.

"They are not mine. They are Richard's children from his first marriage. His wife died several years ago and we were married about a year after her death." Mary explained.

"How very sad for the children to lose their mother" remarked Matthew.

"I do believe they were very fond of her" said Mary, carefully. Just at that moment Richard pulled Matthew into a conversation about plans for the coming days.

….

That night, as Matthew lay in bed, he could have sworn he heard a scream but he dismissed it as a figment of as his imagination.

…

The next morning at breakfast, he noticed a bruise on Mary's forehead.

"I do hope your head is alright Lady Carlisle." He said.

Mary did not know what to say and as she paused her busband cut in.

"Mary was very silly, she tripped over her own shoe and bumped her head! You should really be more careful my dear" said Richard, clearly wanting to stop anymore talk of the matter.

"Yes, I was rather silly" said Mary, falsely whilst keeping her eyes on her plate.

Matthew could sense something was going on but he decided to ignore it, after all it was not his place to question private matters. Despite that, he could not help feeling uneasy.

….

A/N So what do you think? Please review! I know this is quite short an update but longer ones will come….


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Thank you for your reviews/follows so far. Please keep them coming. **

Chapter 2

It was the second full day of Matthew's stay and Richard was taking him to his office to show him the place where he worked. They had eaten breakfast early, just the two of them which had disappointed matthew as he had rather enjoyed seeing Mary at breakfast the day before. In fact he was rather jealous of Carlisle that he had Mary, although he was trying his best to lock down those feelings. That previous night at dinner, he had to continually remind himself that Mary was married and would never be free for him.

On the way to the office of Richard, Matthew decided to try and make casual small talk as a way to find out a bit more about Mary.

"I am so sorry about your first wife" said Matthew.

"Yes, she was a wonderful woman. I was very fond of her" said Richard.

"May I ask how she died?" said Matthew.

"In childbirth. With our third child. The baby was too early and she suffered complications" said Richard.

"Again I am very sorry" said Matthew.

"It is quite alright" said Richard.

"How did you and Mary meet?" said Matthew.

"In London at a dinner" said Richard, clearly not wanting to say more.

"I see" said Matthew and they both fell silent.

…

After only a few hours in the office of Richard Carlisle, Matthew could tell exactly what kind of boss he was. His employees avoided looking him in the eye and agreed with everything he said. Anyone who did not agree was treated with disgust and shouted into submission.

"You see Mr Crawley, I need them to do the best work for me. If I am too nice to them, they will be slack and I cannot have that. It would affect the profits which are my ultimate top priority. Emotions only make you weak." explained Richard.

"Of course, Sir Richard." Agreed Matthew, although he felt entirely different.

"Now the main problem I face at the moment is the potential of a workers strike." Said Richard.

"Oh? Why are they considering strike action?" said Matthew.

Richard walked over to the window of his office and stared out at the city for a moment before turning to Matthew.

"Over wages" said Richard. "Last month I ordered a 10% cut in wages for the lower paid. I need to cut down on costs to increase profit."

"I completely understand" replied Matthew, who did not understand at all and actually felt very sorry for these workers.

"I fear it will be a long fight. The unions talk of compromise but I am not the sort of man who would. Everyone else has a duty to compromise not me, they should be grateful for what I give them" said Richard.

Matthew could not help feeling that this was not the sort of man he wanted to work with, he knew how vital clients such as Carlisle were to the law firm but all the same, the man was truly unpleasant.

"Enough talk of business." Said Richard, breaking into Matthew's thoughts. "We have guests for dinner tonight. Mr and Mrs Salway, they own a set of newsagents across London. They are very pleasant company, although I must warn you about she can be determined to show me up at such dinners."

"Oh?" said Matthew, trying to sound only mildy interested when he was deeply.

"I believe it to be her way making us even" said Richard.

….

Richard was right. Every point he made, Mary tried to disprove and was not ruffled if she did not succeed. She continued to attack Rihcard the entire night.

"Yes, this strike might prove a problem but the workers will see sense. They must understand that without profit there would be no work for them" said Richard.

"So they should accept a cut in wages that makes it hard for them and their families to survive?" said Mary, smiling but with a venomous tone.

"These people do not need to live in luxury. There wages are more than satisfactory to live on with a family!" replied Richard, getting angry.

"Why do you not try it then my darling, surely they will be convinced if you set example" said Mary in a sickly sweet voice.

"Well I could not. I have to set an example" said Richard. "Is it not time you ladies went through?"

"Yes, come Mrs Salway" said Mary, and she got up, turned on her heel and stalked out the room.

"You must forgive my wife, she clearly has had too much to drink" said Richard, trying to cover his rage.

Matthew knew this was untrue, and his admiration of Mary had grown sevenfold over the course of the night. He had yet to see anyone talk to Richard like he was not some kind of God and he was most impressed. Secretly, He was also rather pleased to see Richard so visibly annoyed.

…

That night as he lay in bed, he heard a scream, much like the one he had so easily dismissed the night before. Whoever it was contrined to scream so he pulled on his dressing gown and began to walk towards the room where the scream came from. The door was slightly a-jar. He looked in and what he saw horrified him.

Mary was hugging her knees tightly, sitting on the floor. Carlisle was whispering into her ear. There was blood streaming down her nose, her eyes were red and he could see purple bruises flowering on her arms. Richard pulled away and said "Do not ever talk to me like you did tonight because you will pay."

"I already pay every day Sir Richard, every day" said Mary defiantly.

Richard was candescent with rage. He pulled Mary up to her feet and planted a kiss on her lips while she struggled to pull away. He let go of her and took a step back before punching her square on in the face. Mary fell back onto the bed and that's when Richard left her.

Matthew quickly slid into the shadows and Richard walked past him without noticing him. He looked back into Mary's room. Should he go in?

...

**A/N And we will find out next time! Please continue to review!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Matthew crept quickly and quietly towards the door and stopped when Mary looked up and spotted him. She saw him and immediately wiped her tears away. She stood up and tried to plaster a smile on her face. That's when he noticed a cut on the side of her face. He thought Oh Mary…

"Mr Crawley" she said.

"I saw, do not pretend for me" said Matthew.

Mary grimaced and sank back down onto the bed. She looked down at her feet.

"Why does he do that? How have you displeased him so that he feels the need to hurt you so? " said Matthew, at a loss how a man could harm his wife like that.

"He regrets marrying me. He wanted a dutiful wife, to take care of his children and smile at his guests. I do not fulfil that role which is ironic because I married him out of duty" said Mary.

"Forgive me for being forward, but why did you have to marry him?" said Matthew.

"My father is the Earl of Grantham, but he made a bad investment and he was almost ruined. When I marry, I receive the money set aside for me in a trust. It was enough to prevent them from ruin and Sir Richard was so very eager to marry an aristocrat. I did not know him so well when we married but it seemed a price worth paying for my family and Sir Richard seemed to care for me. My family, I do love them all so dearly and my little sisters – even Edith, deserve more which I could give them. Besides, I was unsure I would receive a better offer and there was not much time. I once said that 40 years of boredom and duty wasn't possible for me but I had little choice. I would even go as far as to say I deserved it" explained Mary, not looking at him.

Matthew walked over and sat next to her.

"I…I do not know what to say" said Matthew.

"There is nothing to say. There is no escape from this. It is as they say, I made my bed and now I must lie in it." said Mary, resolutely.

"You must know that you deserve more than this. Whatever you feel you have done, it cannot be enough to merit this." said Matthew as he looked deep into her eyes as though to make her see sense.

Mary smiled bitterly. "Oh how I wish that to be true. Please let us speak no more on this. You must see, Mr Crawley, this is it for me." She wiped another tear of her face.

"Let me at least help you clean that wound. My mother is a nurse and I have watched her clean wounds like this many times."

Mary turned to him. "Why are you being so nice to me?"

"I just want to help."

Mary searched his eyes and then simply said "I keep some things for these occasions in that drawer." She pointed.

Matthew felt a wave of despair at the tragedy as he walked over to the dresser and found what he needed. He disinfected the cut with gentle strokes and wished he could tell her how he wished to take her away from all this. He had fallen for her so fast.

"Thank you" Mary spoke. "Truly. It is nice to be able to say it aloud, instead of pretending."

"Your family, do you see them a lot?" asked Matthew

"No, well rarely. In all honesty, I think if I saw them too much they would see that I am unhappy. When I visit, I can pretend that everything is as it was, and I relish those moments." She smiled sadly.

…

One morning at breakfast Mary joined them. He could see all her injuries, not yet healed, under the layer of makeup which she had clearly applied but he made no comment. Every night he could hear her crying but he could not go to her. Carlisle did not leave her alone like he had that night Matthew had cleaned that cut. Matthew had listened in a few times and Carlisle stayed with Mary whispering words of hate which only deepened her cries and Matthew's despair. That morning, Mary had her mask back on and she sat looking like none of the events of the previous nights had occurred.

"I trust you slept well Mr Crawley." Said Mary.

Why did she insist on calling him Mr Crawley?

"I did. I hope you did too?" he asked.

"Yes thank you. Richard, dear" Mary said the "dear" which sarcasm. "I will be out all morning and I think I shall take luncheon with my mama"

"How nice" said Richard who patted her hand which Mary immediately pulled away.

"I shall be back for our outing this afternoon." Matthew looked confused.

"The boat ride and the picnic" she clarified.

"Oh yes" said Matthew. "Will the children come?"

"I do believe so" said Mary, with false brightness.

"Lovely" said Matthew.

….

Richard did not join them on the boat trip citing work as an excuse. Matthew did not care either way, glad to have some time away from him.

They sat opposite one another in the boat. She looked down at her feet but Matthew could not resist watching her. Then her eyes crept up to meet his and the exchanged a deep look which was only broken when Louisa spoke. Later, when he was sure no one was watching, Matthew put his hand on Mary's and gave it a quick squeeze. Her eyes darted to his, almost alarmed and she moved slightly further away. Mary spent the rest of the journey to the picnic site trying not to look at Matthew and pushing away the wish that he would hold her.

The picnic was delightfully tasty. There was an array of different sandwiches and cakes and a light white wine. Still, Matthew found himself distracted by Mary. She played the perfect hostess and laughed even at the least funny jokes. Her self-control amazed him and she seemed so much more at ease without the presence of Richard.

"Lady Carlisle, I am afraid there is a problem with one of the boats so I am afraid I cannot take you all" said the Boat man.

Matthew cut in "Well, Lady Carlisle and I do not mind waiting. Please take the others first and we will remain here until you return."

"That does sound like a good plan. The weather is taking a turn for the worse and I would hate for any of you to be out in the rain" said Mary.

"Your concern does you credit Lady Carlisle" said Mr Salway. "Come everyone, the quicker we get on the boat the quicker Lady Carlisle and Mr Crawley can be transported back."

….

'Alone at last' thought Matthew. They sat in silence for a few moments before all of a sudden, Matthew leant over and kissed Mary. He pulled back for a moment before Mary restarted the kiss.

Matthew felt like he was on fire, he had thought of this from almost the moment he arrived and in that one kiss he tried to put all the things he had been unable to say.

Mary was thinking about how nice it was to not have to force herself to not flinch away. How nice it was to be kissed by someone who loved her. Loved her? At least she thought Matthew loved her, there was something in his eye when he looked at her, and she felt it in this kiss. She had never thought she could feel this, she had already written herself off. She had only been kissed by two people previously, and neither made her feel like Matthew did now.

Mary leant over and whispered into Matthew's ear.

"When we get back to the house, follow me. But at a distance. No one must know."

**A/N Please review! Im so grateful for all reviews and follows :)**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

He followed her through the house. They went up several flights of stairs and through many corridors until they reached a door which Mary unlocked. Her hand closed over the handle but she hesitated. Matthew was sure that there was no one to see them so he closed his hand over hers and pushed the door open. Mary turned and looked at him smiling as she pressed her lips against his. She pulled him backwards until they both fell onto the bed in a bundle of giggles. Matthew smiled adoringly down at her. She truly was beautiful, he thought as he began to kiss her neck.

….

Afterwards, he held her closely to him. Matthew could not believe that he got to hold her in his arms, that he could see and touch every part of her. Mary could feel him smiling into her hair and in that moment she knew she had not been so happy in such a long time, if only it could last forever. She knew Richard would be home soon and she needed some time to be able to recollect herself. She sat up; Matthew trailed his hand down her spine.

"I wish you did not have to go." said Matthew.

"I must". Mary began to find her clothes which were scattered around the whole of the room.

Matthew pulled her back to him and held her tight. Mary covered his arms with hers and leant her head on his shoulder.

"Just a few more minutes my darling" whispered Matthew in her ear, hungrily kissing her neck.

Mary could not help but smile but as much as she did not want to she knew that she had to go.

"Help me get my clothes back on" was all she said.

"I much prefer taking them off" he said cheekily but he quickly stood to help her.

"Not so tight" said Mary as Matthew pulled at the strings of her corset.

"I am sorry, I suppose you already have enough trouble breathing properly as it is with me around" said Matthew, grinning.

Mary laughed and turning, she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

"I really must go" said Mary quietly and with one last squeeze of his hand she left.

Matthew stared after her, wondering how he could bear to see her with Carlisle.

…..

"I hope you had a pleasant afternoon Mr Crawley" said Richard.

"I did thank you, Lady Mary was a great hostess. It is a shame you were unable to join us" said Matthew.

"I suppose that is her greatest talent" said Richard.

"I hope your afternoon was not too trying" said Mary to Richard.

"It was quite alright thank you" said Richard.

"I have had a letter from Sybil, my sister and she is going to come and stay for a few days" said Mary brightly.

"How lovely, I look forward to meeting her" said Matthew. "If she is much like you I am sure she is delightful company".

Mary was a little shocked; she knew Richard would hit the roof if he had any smidgen of an idea of what had transpired that very afternoon. Richard was beginning to look suspicious.

"You flatter me Mr Crawley" said Mary as she gave Matthew a sharp kick under the table.

Matthew cottoned on.

"I would be a fool not to compliment the wife of a potential client" said Matthew, which he hoped would justify his words.

Richard looked appeased and said "I suppose you are right. So when does Sybil arrive?"

"Tomorrow, I know it is terribly short notice but it is not a big inconvenience" said Mary, continuing to eat.

"What if I needed you to attend a dinner engagement with me or I had guests coming" protested Richard.

"Well do you?" asked Mary.

"No, but that's beside the point..."

Mary cut across him: "Richard it is easily arranged so I do not see your problem"

Richard looked furious.

"I am sure it will all work out" said Matthew.

Richard sat back, and sat looking angry for the rest of dinner.

….

As usual Matthew went to check on Mary, even if he could not help, he wanted to be near. It was unusually quiet. It had not been so quiet for many nights now. Matthew walked to the door and looked in. It was dark but not so dark that he could not see. Mary was lying in bed her eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling while Carlisle was lying next to her. Matthew was jealous. He knew Mary could not refuse Carlisle but even so. Just then Mary spotted Matthew; she looked over at Richard to check he was most definitely asleep. Then, she carefully got out of bed, took him by the hand and led him to the drawing room.

"Matthew we need to be more careful" she said keeping her voice only slightly louder than a whisper.

"I am sorry" said Matthew. "I just cannot resist saying nice things to you" He gave her his best boyish grin.

Mary could not help smiling back.

"It will be easier with Sybil here" said Mary. "Richard is so much nicer to me when my family visit. Well he does not hurt me as much"

Another wave of sadness swept over Matthew and he pulled her into his arms.

"Matthew" said Mary into his chest. "Please do not feel sorry for me. Pity… Pity is something I truly cannot bear."

"Then I promise never to feel sorry for you" he said in return.

"We should really be getting back to bed" said Mary.

"We should. But before we go, please let me kiss you" said Matthew.

Mary smiled and nodded.

Matthew caressed her face and leant in to press his lips to hers. He pulled away and looked down at her smiling before pulling her into his arms again.

"You must know how much I want to protect you. I do so wish I could stop him hurting you." He said into her ear.

"You must know that you cannot. He cannot know Matthew; it would not do either of us any good. He would only send you away, keep me here and punish me further" replied Mary.

Matthew nodded and they both went back to bed.

**A/N: So what do you think? Please continue to review. I love reading them! **

**Look out for the next chapter very soon guest starring Sybil **


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Richard was worried which was unusual. He never had had to worry about someone not doing what he asked of them because he knew his authority was enough for everyone. No one had ever refused him and those who had failed had been made an example of. Yet that night, Mary was worrying him. She may try to challenge him but he had always thought that it would never lead to anything drastic; she liked her bit of fun at his expense. Since the arrival of Mr Matthew Crawley, however he had noticed that she had become more difficult. He was also certainly not pleased at how easily the two got along or the secretive looks he could have sworn he had witnessed. The question was what to do? He knew that with Sybil's presence Mary would be easier to command. He just had to remind her of how vital he was to her and he had to squish any inappropriate thoughts that Mr Crawley may be forming by showing that Mary would not be happy without the things he provided her. Soon the man would be gone and they could return to how they were. It would all work out, as it usually did.

Little did Richard Carlisle know that he was fighting a battle already lost.

…

Mary could not help but run outside and threw herself into Sybil's arms, holding her tight.

"Oh it is so good to see you!" whispered Mary into Sybil's ear.  
Sybil pulled back and examined her sister. She worried about her sometimes even though Mary never said anything that implied she was unhappy but she never looked completely happy. Today, however, Sybil noticed a slight hint of Mary's old sparkle in her eyes and wondered what had changed; in any case she was glad to see it.  
"You look well" said Sybil, actually meaning it for once. Then, arm in arm, they walked into the house where Richard, Matthew and the children were waiting to greet Sybil.  
"Sybil, this is Mr Crawley who is staying with us as he is going to be working with Richard" said Mary, giving Matthew a broad smile.  
"It's lovely to meet you Mr Crawley. I do hope you are enjoying your stay" said Sybil, diplomatically, shaking Matthew's hand.  
"Your sister and brother-in-law have been perfect hosts" said Matthew, politely.  
'My God' thought Mary, 'how is he so effortlessly charming?'  
Sybil then greeted Richard with a brief hello, and Matthew noticed a very tight smile. Clearly he was not the only person who disapproved of Mary's husband. Greetings over, they all went to change for dinner.

….  
Matthew was really rather enjoying his conversation with Sybil, in part because she was so like Mary - fearless. She told him about his interest in politics and woman's' rights. He told her of his work at the law firm and his hopes of becoming a partner. Then they began to talk of Mary and their childhood at Downton.  
"Mary is my favourite sister" she confessed. "I was terribly sad when she married. Even when she and Edith were too old for the nursery she still came back and played with me sometimes even when mama told her she was too old"

Matthew smiled. Meeting Sybil, he understood more than ever why Mary had felt the need to marry to make sure Sybil still had a chance in life.

"I am afraid I do not have any siblings so I suppose I was quite alone. Still my parents spoiled me rotten!" said Matthew, laughing at the memories of his childhood.

"We had a nanny so I do not think I saw my parents as much as you did yours" said Sybil, thoughtfully. "I won't have that with my children"

"No?" said Matthew, actually surprised by her words. "I am sure that is not proper for the daughter of an earl".

"Oh I do care so very little about all that" admitted Sybil. "When I marry, I will do so for love and I will spend so much time with my children so they know how deeply I love them!"

"Sybil you are such a silly romantic, it takes more than love to make you happy in marriage" said Richard. "I have given Mary more than any man could and it is more than just mere love." At this last part he looked directly at Matthew.

Matthew tried to look as innocent as possible. Mary too noticed Richard looking at Matthew and a look of alarm crossed her face which although went unnoticed by Richard was seen by Sybil. Sybil suddenly felt like she was missing something massive.

"I could not be happier with anyone else" said Mary, although no one looked very convinced at her words.

"There we are Sybil" said Richard, putting on a smiling façade- he had a feeling Mary only said what she said to appease him.

Everyone turned back to their plates.

…

The next morning….

Mary and Sybil were walking along in the park, it was rather a beautiful day and the two were enjoying a good catch up.

"Sir Anthony Strallen has expressed his interest in Edith you know!" said Sybil.

"Really? That old bore? And has she returned his interests?" said Mary, laughing at the thought.

"Yes actually, I do believe he will propose soon. I would bet that they are married before the end of the year! He is devoted to her and she does not seem to mind at all that he is so old. In fact, I would say that she could not be more pleased" said Sybil.

"And what do mama and papa say?" said Mary.

"Well, they are not overjoyed, but I think they are happy to see Edith happy and mama is pleased that at least she will not be too far away" said Sybil.

"I see, so it will definitely happen then?" said Mary.

"I think only the world ending could stop them" said Sybil.

"Gosh, how things do change" said Mary, looking at her shoes.

"Yes, yes they do" said Sybil. "So what about that Mr Crawley? Is there something you want to share?"

"Sybil, I am married!" said Mary.

"Oh Mary, you do not fool me" said Sybil, despairing.

"He has not been here long!" said Mary.

"It is clear to me Mary, you have feelings for him. Strong feelings" said Sybil.

"Oh don't be ridiculous!" said Mary, trying her best to brush Sybil off. How could she admit that she loved Matthew? How did Sybil know that she even had feelings for him?

"Mary, as your sister and as the one you were always closest to I can tell!" said Sybil.

"Well…. I …. I…" said Mary.

"You do then?" said Sybil.

Mary flopped down on a park bench and began to cry desperately. "Oh Sybil!" she moaned.

Sybil took her in her arms and hugged her close as she whispered soft words of comfort. Then she looked Mary in the eye and said "You must know I will support you in whatever you choose".

…

The next day, in the small shopping street of York Matthew was looking for a gift for his mother. It was almost her birthday. He found a book on modern nursing methods which he was sure Isobel would appreciate in the bookshop and left, happy with his purchase. As he walked out the door, he walked straight into Sybil.

"Lady Sybil, I am so sorry!" he exclaimed.

Sybil recollected herself and smiled. "No harm done Mr Crawley."

"I did not see you, I was…"

"Please, it is quite alright" said Sybil cutting across him. "I am just going back; would you like to walk together?"

Matthew smiled and nodded. As they walked back Matthew and Sybil made small talk until Matthew remarked: "Mary is very pleased that you are visiting."

Sybil gave a cheeky grin. "Oh I do not think it is my visit that pleases her most Mr Crawley."

Matthew was taken aback but was saved from answering by the front door being opened by Smithers, the butler.

Sybil walked past him still grinning, leaving him rather at a loss.

….

At the lunch table, everyone was quiet. Richard was out at a lunch meeting so the atmosphere was not as edgy as at the dinner the previous night. When she had finished, Sybil announced her intention of taking a nap and requested that Mary wake her if she was not up by five. This left Mary and Matthew alone. Mary stood up and was beginning to walk to the door when Matthew pulled her back into his arms. He kissed her deeply, passionately and then stopped. Their faces were still very close together when Mary spoke "Matthew, you must know that what I said to Richard about no one making me happier was not true."

"Mary, I suspect no one believed you when you said that" said Matthew, laughing slightly.

"Oh Matthew, you must know this cannot be?" she said sadly.

"I know but… but I do love you so terribly much" he said, as he leant his forehead against hers. "So terribly much Mary and I do not care what anyone else thinks or wants because I want to be with you with all my heart."

"I…I love you too" said Mary, closing her eyes and allowing herself a moment to pretend it was that simple, a single tear began to roll down her cheek.

Matthew kissed her again and when they stopped they simply held each other, breathing in each other's scents. Mary ran her hands through Matthew's hair, feeling its softness and then moved her hands to caress his face. Looking into his eyes, Mary could see everything she would never have. She could imagine the two of them together, setting up their own home. She could see the two of them eating dinner together – one that she had prepared no less and spending night after night in his arms. Oh, if only it could be.

…..

The rest of Sybil's stay passed without major incident. Mary and Matthew had not been alone together since that time after luncheon. Richard was still keeping a close eye on the pair and while he had not seen any open signs of attachment between them, he still felt suspicious. He noticed that there were some meaningful looks passing between them but he could not confront her on the basis of that alone. He supposed that he could send Matthew away, but what good would that really do? He invited Mr and Mrs Salway for dinner. Mr Salway was very loyal to him and so he was certain that he could rely on him to report any suspicious behaviour. An action he would come to regret. The dinner went worse than he could ever have imagined.

**A/N: so what do you think? Please review! Thanks to all you of you who have favourite/alerted/reviewed so far. They make me write faster honest!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Matthew was on the phone to his colleague at the law firm. He had decided it would be best to tell Bert that they should not take on Richard Carlisle as a client. He was not the kind of man he would want to inflict on any of his colleagues and then there was the issue of Mary.

"You see Bert, we cannot take him on. Over the time he has been here, he has proved himself to be an arrogant, cruel and vicious man. When I have been with him at his place of work, there is no respect, only fear" said Matthew.

"I see. Well, I cannot deny he would not be a trophy on our client list but I can see your logic and most of all I trust your judgement" said Bert. "You will be returning soon then?"

"About that, I am afraid I may need to ask for a period of leave, I may even have to leave altogether" said Matthew.

Bert was rather perplexed at this.

"Oh why? I do hope you're not planning anything foolish?" said Bert.

"Nothing is yet set in stone" said Matthew, evasively.

"Well old chap, let us speak of it then then" said Bert.

"Yes yes….. You must know Bert I am so grateful for all that you have done for me" said Matthew and he put the phone down.

…

When Mary entered the room, Matthew thought she had never looked a beautiful and he stared at her with deep adoration. This did not go unnoticed by Richard.

Richard went straight over to Mary and took her arm. He whispered into her ear "Do not make me look a fool. You will regret it." He was gripping her arm so tightly that she gave a gasp of pain and when he released her she could see bruises beginning to flower.

Mary looked at him defiantly and gave him a fake smile. "You know I am only here to serve you as your wife" she said, sarcastically.

Richard studied her face and then turned to the assembked party and suggested they went through to the dining room. Food, he found, was always a good distraction.

Matthew took a seat next to Mary. Richard was fuming but he tried to hide it. Mary could feel the tension vibrating of Richard's face and tried to keep a neutral expression on her face. She smiled welomingly at the Salways who were seated across from her. They smiled back, but there was a definite edge of uneasiness to it all.

They made it through the starter with small talk of the business and the weather. To Richard, Mary was being unusually cooperative. She had agreed with almost everything he had said even when he had said things that he knew she did not agree with. Something was definitely wrong.

It was when Richard again spoke of the workers and their refusal to take their pay cut well that Matthew could see Mary losing control. Her face was growing steadily redder and she was gripping her chair very very tightly under the table. Matthew, hoping no one was looking, placed his hand over Mary's in a reassuring gesture. After a few minutes she turned to look at him and gave him a small secret smile.

The dinner seemed to be progressing well, despite his unease Richard was relatively pleased with the way things were going. At least to the Salways, Mary was playing the role of a dutiful wife perfectly. He was relatively sure that tonight she would not show him up in front of guests.

The ladies went through and eventually the men joined them in the living room. Richard had tried to keep the two groups separate for as long as he could but both Mr Salway and Matthew had the opposite idea so they went through much sooner than he would have preferred. Mary and Mrs Salway had been locked in deep conversation when the men arrived.

"What are you two talking about so avidly?" said Richard, trying to keep his voice light.

"Oh Richard, we were simply talking about women's stuff" said Mary, smiling. "Why don't you sit down?"

At that, Richard tried to take the seat next to Mary but he was beaten to it by Matthew. He was forced to sit on the arm chair furthest from Mary.

"You must all excuse me" said Matthew. "I have a headache and I think I would quite like an early night".

"I do hope you are not coming down with something" said Mary. "Please do let us know if you need anything."

Richard had never heard her speak to him with so much care. He fumed.

Matthew got up and left.

"Will you excuse me for just a few moments? I am afraid I drank to much water between the wine" said Mary, giggling slightly.

Richard did not believe her. Not one bit. He waited until Mary had left, excused himself and then he followed her. She was not in the bathroom. He knew exactly where he thought she was.

Richard opened the door to the small library. There were Mary and Matthew, holding hands, not kissing but foreheads touching.

They sprung apart when they saw him but the damage, as they say, was done.

"How dare you?" roared Richard. "Under my own roof."

Richard sprang forward and Matthew was sure he was going to hit Mary. He pushed Richard back and shouted "Do not touch her."

Matthew knew exactly what he wanted to do, he looked at Mary and he was sure she was thinking exactly the same. Richard interrupted their thoughts.

"You forget she is married to me" said Richard, quietly but his words were full of anger.

"You will never hurt her again" said Matthew, venomously.

Matthew turned and grabbing Mary, he pulled her from the room.

….

Mary and Matthew ran up the stairs. When they reached the top, Mary turned to Matthew and gripped both his hands in hers.

"No turning back."

"No turning back."

They exchanged a smile and separated and ran to their rooms. Mary threw clothes into a bag along with any treasured possessions she could grab quickly. As she packed, she began to laugh, thrilled with the excitement of running away, to freedom. She shut her suitcase and as she ran out of her room, collided with Matthew. He held his own suitcase and he held out his hand. She took it and together they ran down the stairs.

Richard was there. He was absolutely raging. He tried to grab Mary but Matthew had the jump on him and he pulled Mary so that they skirted past Richard.

Rihcard shouted insults and threats but the happy couple took no notice as they ran, hand in hand, down the street. When they got to the train station, they boarded to first train to the coast. Once they were alone in the train compartment, Matthew pulled Mary onto his lap and kissed her. Mary was exhilarated.

…..

The next day….

Robert Crawley was surprised when Carson informed him there was a telephone call from Sir Richard. What could that odious man want? Richard told him of what had taken place that afternoon. Robert did not know how to reply so he simply hung up. He walked in a daze back to the drawing room where Cora and his mother were taking tea. When he sat down, the two looked at him questioningly but he was dumfounded.

"Robert?" said Cora, worried. "Is Mary alright? Ooooh is she to have a baby?" Cora could not think of any other reason that Richard might call.

"Mary…." Said Robert, unsure of how to go on.

"Oh please do spit it out!" said the dowager.

"Mary has left Sir Richard. They had a guest to stay, a lawyer, a Mr Matthew Crawley from Manchester. She has run away with him" was all he managed to say.

Cora and Violet exchanged horrified looks.

"Does Sir Richard know where they have gone?" said Cora, trying to remain calm.

"No." said Robert, shortly. "I suspect he wanted to see if Mary had come here."

"As if she would dare!" said Violet. "Oh imagine the scandal this will cause!"

"It will be more damaging to Sir Richard and he knows it" said Robert, grimly. He got up and walked to the window. Oh Mary, he thought, what have you done?

…

They had spent the previous night in a pub, posing as a married couple of course. No one doubted their story; they were far from where anybody might know them. Matthew rose before Mary and made some enquiries about a cottage. He discovered there to be one for rent about a mile out of the village. When she woke, he took Mary to see it. It was small, but light and airy. There were two small bedrooms, a bathroom and a living space with a kitchen. Mary found it to be adorable, very different from anything she had ever lived in, but adorable nonetheless. They signed the lease and the very same day moved in, fortunately they were able to lease it furnished.

That night, Mary attempted cooking for the very first time. Matthew could not believe her when she told him she had not done it before.

"Then we shall have to teach you!" he declared as he pulled her close to him. Growing up, his mother had insisted he learn. She always told him that one day it would be useful and she was right.

Matthew had bought some sausages and potatoes. Together they peeled the potatoes and boiled them for mash and then he cooked the sausages. He laughed as he watched Mary mash the potatoes. Mary gave him a look and Matthew tried to assume a dignified expression like one suited to a church service.

They sat down to eat, what was, surprisingly a very tasty meal.

"I cannot believe we produced something so bearable to eat" said Mary, her voice full of humour.

Matthew grinned his best boyish smile then his expression turned more serious.

"Are you sure you are alright with this?" he said, needing to know.

Mary put down her cutlery and grasped Matthew's hand. "Matthew, you have saved me. I have never felt so happy since before I married." She paused. "I love you."

A/N So they ran? What do you think? Pleeeeeaseeeeeeee review!


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thank you for all your reviews! **Hope you guys appreciate the new chapter :)

Chapter 7

The truth was nobody was quite sure how to react to the news of Mary. They had sat in a state of silence for what felt like a very long time. All three lost deep in thought. Edith and Sybil came in, laughing after their walk in the garden. They stopped abruptly when they noticed the unusual silence. Sybil spoke first.

"What's happened?" said she.

Robert did not know how to say it. What would this do to their daughter's chances? Eventually Violet, always the calmest in these situations, spoke up.

"Your sister has run off with a Matthew Crawley" she announced.

Edith was so shocked she had to sit down. It was almost unbelievable. Mary was someone who so believed in propriety. However she felt. How did this happen?

"Wait, Sybil did you not meet the man?" asked Cora, suddenly remembering her daughter had visted Mary recently.

"Yes, yes I did. He seemed to be a good man" she said.

"And how were he and Mary together?" asked Violet.

"I do believe they got on rather well. She looked the happiest I had ever seen her since she and Richard married" said Sybil, not wanting to admit that how much she exactly knew.

"Did she not say anything to you?" pressed Violet.

"She…. She…" Sybil did not know what to say.

"Come on, out with it!" commanded Violet.

"She admitted she had feelings for him and I told her I would support her, whatever she did…. But I never expected for her to actually do anything" said Sybil, defensively.

Robert ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Why did his family always seem to be on the edge of ruin?

"What does Sir Richard plan to do about it?" said Edith.

"I do believe he only has two choices. He can both shame her and divorce her for adultery which she is obviously guilty of. Or he may try to get her back" said Robert.

"Why would he try to get her back?" asked Edith, confused.

"Because my dear" said Violet, "her running off makes him look weak. A man who cannot control his wife automatically loses some respect. I believe he will try to get her back and will want your assistance Robert."

"I just do not understand why she would run off" said Cora.

"Oh Mama! It is as obvious as the nose on your face. She must have been unhappy and Matthew, swept her off her feet. I think she loves him" exclaimed Sybil.

"But… Mary is a practical girl. She would not do something like this. She is married! I thought she would respect that no matter her feelings" said Cora.

"I disagree" muttered Sybil.

"Sorry?" said Robert.

"Mary has always followed the rules and done the done thing" said Sybil. "Perhaps she did not want to anymore."

"the question remains what do we do now?" said Cora.

"We wait. We bide our time" said Violet. "Until… until Richard shows his hand.

….

For Matthew, waking up next to Mary was one of the most wonderful things. Mary was rather adorable asleep. Still he could not believe what they had done. He guessed that Richard would create a scandal and divorce Mary for adultery. What would they do? He supposed they could go to America and start again. God, what would his mother say? She still thought he was staying with the Carlisles. Well, that would have to be corrected. He would go into the village and use the telephone that day he decided; perhaps Mary would want to phone her family too.

When he realised Mary was awake he kissed her lightly on her lips. Her face broke into a glorious and sleepy smile. She snuggled up to him and stayed silent for a while before beginning to hungrily kiss his neck. 'Well' thought Matthew, 'nothing stopping us now'.

….

"I suppose we should really discuss what to do next" said Mary, bluntly over breakfast which was more like a late lunch.

"I need to tell my mother" said Matthew. "It would be unfair for her to have to read it over her coffee if anything is published."

"My family probably already knows." Said Mary.

"Oh?"

"Richard will have telephoned them" said Mary.

"Why?" said Matthew.

"Well, I am sure he plans to use them as part of his plan"

"What plan?" Matthew was worried.

"To get me back."

"What?" said Matthew, lost.

"You cannot really think that he would let me go easily?"

"I suppose not".

"I can guess he thinks that he sees this as a game between him and you with me being the prize. He wants to win, obviously."

"I did not realise how much you mean to him" said Matthew, slightly sarcastically.

Mary grimaced.

"If this is found out, it will make him look weak. It's not about me at all really."

Matthew sat back as he processed this information. Then he grasped her hands and looked her directly in the eyes and said "Mary, for me it is all about you. You mean the world to me. I will not give you up."

…

Matthew was nervous as he waited for his mother to pick up the telephone. He did not know how to explain what he had done. He suspected however, that she would not approve. Perhaps if he explained the whole situation…

"Hello?"

"Mother, its Matthew"

"Oh my dear boy!" said Isobel, thrilled to hear from him. "How are you?"

"Quite well. And you?" said Matthew.

"Wonderful thank you. I have found a new cause – helping women who have fallen. Are you enjoying yourself?"

"How exciting. Yes… about that." Matthew paused.

"Matthew?"

"I have done something you probably will think is rather stupid."

"Oh?"

"I… I fell in love" he said simply and then he paused, unsure of how to go on.

"And what is wrong with that?" Isobel felt thrilled – she sp longed for grandchildren.

"Well, because she is married"

It clicked in Isobel's mind and she immediately knew exactly who Matthew was reffering to.

"With Mary Carlisle?! Please say you have not done anything about it although I suspect that you have and that is why you are phoning."

"Yes, well…. We ran away, together."

"Matthew, you must know that this cannot end well."

"I will not give her up. I love her."

"Oh my boy, love is all very well. But she is married to one of the most powerful men in the country. He will ruin you and then how will you go on?"

…..

A/N So Isobel knows – should she be more supportive? What is Richard planning eh? Will he do something nobody expects?


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Richard sat in his office, he was meant to be reading over a new potential column in one of his newspapers but in reality he was thinking about Mary. And what to do about her. He supposed no one would outwardly blame him if he publically shamed Mary and divorced her for adultery. Still, people would think less of his authority, there was no doubt about that. Still, how could he cover up the fact that his wife had run off? And then how would he get her to come back?

The answer to the second was probably rather obvious. He would use her family to get her back, if he convinced them of the damage that would occur to them and to Mary if she was to return then they would convince Mary. It was a slow game but one he was quite certain of winning. After all, he never lost. He would put the word out that his wife was very ill and kept to her room. His staff would back this story and who would really think to question him? There was a chance that someone would see Mary off with Matthew but he suspected that Mary would be drawing as little attention to herself as possible. He knew that the person who would most likely be able to gain contact with Mary was Sybil. He would contact her first.

…

"I thought I might write to Sybil. I wouldn't tell her where we are, just say that we are safe and I am happy" said Mary.

"I am sure that she would like to know how you are. Although if you truly wanted to hide our location you may want to post it from somewhere else than the village" said Matthew, taking her hand across the table.

Mary's heart swelled with love at his immediate understanding.

"Yes, you are right of course" said Mary.

"I am going to look for a job in the neighbouring town. I can take it then I suppose."

"Must you?" asked Mary.

Matthew laughed and said "What will we live of then?"

"I suppose I just want to be here with you, forget the world for a while and just enjoy ourselves"

"Mary…"

"We have payed the rent here for the next month have we not? And I know that we have enough money to pay for food, we wouldn't need much else. I know you worry that I will not be happy without all the staff and the luxuries but I only care about being with you. You can cook, you can teach me and I am perfectly capable of cleaning" said Mary. She drew a deep breath, she had forgotten to breathe throughout her rant.

"Alright my darling. Alright"

Mary looked pleased and smiled. Still at the back of her mind she wondered how long it could possibly last? Could it last? She put the thought out of her mind. One way or another, they would make it work.

….

"Sybil, this one is for you" said Robert.

It was over a week after the news of Mary and they were all growing increasingly worried. Sybil was perhaps the most worried of all.

She looked at the envelope and was sure she recognised Mary's hand. For a moment she wondered why her father had not recognised the letter from Mary but he didn't seem to notice things anymore, so often simply lost deep in thought. She quickly excused herself to hide in her room to read Mary's letter.

_Dear Sybil,_

_I hope this letter finds you well and that you are all not worrying too much. I will not tell you where I am but know that I am quite safe and happy. Matthew is being an absolute darling and very understanding. He is even teaching me how to cook! Can you imagine it? I am actually finding it rather enjoyable._

_I am so happy Sybil. I cannot remember being so happy in such a long time. I am so glad to be away from Richard. For the moment Matthew and I are enjoying being together. I know Richard will have some kind of grand plan so I must warn you to be careful in your dealings with him. In part it is why I do not say where I am because I do not want Richard to find us. _

_I think I have said all that I want to for now. I will try to write again soon. I hope you understand why I did what I did. _

_All my love_

_Mary_

Sybil sat back and pondered what she had just read. She had laughed when she had read the part about the cooking. She wondered what her grandmother would say if she knew. Oh if only! Sybil was sure the look on her face would be priceless. In any case, she would try to find out what Richard was planning. She would not show this letter to anyone and hopefully Mary would be able to tell her where she was the next time.

…

Two weeks had passed since Mary had written to Sybil. She and Matthew were having, simply put, a ball. They spent nearly all day everyday together – it amazed both of them that they were not bored of one another. It seemed only to prove how much they loved each other. There was only one thing threatening their happiness – lack of money. It was running rather low and they had both decided that Matthew had to look for work. It did not take long and Matthew soon found a job in a pub. It was hardly ideal, but neither was their situation.

Mary was sad to watch him go to work every day but she used the time wisely to practice her cooking .She wanted to be the perfect wife to Matthew in all but actually being his wife. She found herself relishing the chores – she had never had so much purpose as she did now. When she had been with Richard, she felt more like a trophy, something to be admired without any actual worth. That day she was particularly proud when she cooked for Matthew and she so hoped that he would appreciate the results.

"Mary, this is lovely!" exclaimed Matthew.

"You do not have to sound so surprised" she chided, while grinning widely.

"I am so sorry" said Matthew in his best mock serious tone.

Mary rolled her eyes dramatically and concentrated on finishing her chicken. Then she spoke:

"Well I do expect you to make it up to me later."

Matthew winked at her and she blushed.

….

Robert was surprised to see how effectively Richard Carlisle had covered up his eldest daughter's exploits. The entire world seemed to be under the illusion that Mary was very ill and confined to the house. When he had been in the village, people simply offered their wishes for Mary's recovery and in return he gave smiles, hoping he did not look too baffled.

That night as he went to bed, he was surprised to see that Cora was not reading as usual but sitting with the most forlorn expression on her face.

"What is it dearest?"

"I was thinking about Mary. All I seem to do these days is worry about her. I do wish she would at least send word that she is alright" said Cora, sighing.

"I suspect she does not know how to face us. Still, I do think we will see her again" said Robert, wearily.

"I know Sir Richard is confident he will" said Cora. "I worry that going back to Sir Richard will not be good for her. We have never thought him a forgiving man."

"For the sake of her reputation and Sybil's and Edith's and our own, she has to go back to him. Do you want us to be ruined?" said Robert. "That is all there is to it."

Cora sighed; it would be different in America. ..

…

A/N: Bit of an imbetween chapter but it is kinda needed for the future developments..

Pleeeeaseee review!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Telephone for Lady Sybil" announced Carson.

Sybil immediately got up and went into the hall. Who could it be? Not Mary surely…

"Lady Sybil, it is Sir Richard" said Richard.

"Ah Sir Richard, what can I do for you?" said Sybil, suspecting that she knew exactly what he wanted.

"I was wondering if you had heard from Mary" said Richard. "I do so worry about her."

"I am sure" said Sybil, privately thinking that he was in fact not worried for Mary but more for his chances of having her back. "In truth, I have not"

"Would you tell me if you do?" asked Richard.

"Of course" lied Sybil smoothly. "I suspect however, that she will not be in contact anytime soon though."

"Oh?"

"Well she does not want to be found obviously"

Richard knew Sybil was right and he also did not entirely believe her when she said she would tell him if she did hear from her sister. Perhaps she needed reminding of the consequences for them all.

"You must know this affair your sister has entered into is entirely unjustifiable and ridiculous. If it comes out, it will damage you by association" stated Richard.

"I am not sure it matters much to me" said Sybil, in a sickly sweet tone. "I suspect it will look worse for you"

She could hear Richard taking a sharp intake of breath. Good, she thought, she had hit a nerve.

"And what about the rest of the family?"

Well, he did have her there. She knew very well her papa cared deeply about reputations.

"Well, all I ask is that if you see or speak to her, you tell her to come back" continued Richard.

"Sir Richard, I am sure you could find them easily enough with all your connections, so why have you not?" asked Sybil boldly. "Even if they have gone to the middle of nowhere and are living like hermits, surely you could find them?"

"I could, you are right of course. Now, I must be going" and Richard quickly rang off the telephone.

Sybil put the phone down, wondering why he had not answered her.

In London, Richard leant back in his chair thinking about Sybil's question. The truth was if he went to wherever Mary was she would not come without creating a fuss and that would ruin the current deception at play. No, he needed Mary to be stuck with him. He needed himself to be the only option for her. She had to feel like coming back to him was her only choice. And he was quite sure that day might be soon. There were rumours of a war, Mr Crawley would surely go to fight and then where would Mary be?

…

Mary lay in Matthew's arms feeling rather content. The sun had just risen and she had slept so very well. She looked over at Matthew. He was really rather adorable asleep. She took a moment to take stock of all that had happened. Running away from her husband with another man was most definitely against all the rules of society! Yet she found she did not care. Obeying the rules had brought her nothing but misery and she had been oh so tired of that damned mask she always had on. She had hated having to pretend everything was alright, to have to cover up her bruises and various injuries. She hoped to God that she would never have to return. Then she thought of her family, her papa would be so bitterly disappointed she knew. But it was too late for that. Just then Matthew woke.

He smiled down at her sleepily and then kissed her on her forehead.

"Morning Darling" said he.

"Morning" said Mary, reaching up and giving him a kiss.

"It's my day off" reminded Matthew. He gave her a flirtatious wink.

Mary giggled and said "For you, the dusting will not wait."

"Oh can it not? I did not realise how demanding dusting was" Matthew said jokingly.

"You'd be surprised; I only did it a few days ago but..." She was cut off as Matthew pressed his slips against hers to silence her.

…

A couple of weeks later, Mary realised she was in real trouble and this was confirmed by her trip to the local doctor. He congratulated her profusely while she pretended to be pleased but inside everything was screaming panic. She was not very far along – only two months so it would be a while before it started to show. Oh dear God. What was she going to do? She and Matthew did not have the funds to raise a child like she was raised, although that was not the part that worried her most. More importantly, they were not married. They could never marry. They would be raising a child on a lie. What had she gotten herself into?

…

When Matthew came home he had a deeply serious expression on his face. Mary frowned at him when he walked in and asked what was wrong.

"Mary… Oh God… It has been announced that we are at war with Germany."

Mary covered her mouth in shock and turned away, grasping at a chair for support. She sat down, her mind racing.

"Will you go and fight?" she asked faintly.

"I haven't decided. I suspect that if it goes on long enough, I will have to go" he replied.

The baby… if Matthew was off at war how on earth could she look after the baby? She would not be able to work when she got too far along. Would she even be able to find work? Matthew would probably earn a small wage… but if he were… killed, she would have nothing. Matthew would be gone and she would be all by herself. All alone… with a child to care for. She could not do it. She knew not one thing about children or child birth. She wished her mother was here. It made her feel childish to think it but in all honesty, she had never felt the need to be with her mother so strong in such a long time. She could see only one option open to her. The child had to be protected above all and not punished for her own mistakes, even if Matthew was the best mistake she had ever made.

"Mary?"

Matthew's voice broke into her thoughts; she whirled around to face him.

"Oh Matthew, don't you see? We have been so terribly wrong."

"Mary?" Matthew's voice sounded pained.

"We should not have done this. My family… they do not deserve it. And neither do you. I should not have run away with you."

"Why are you saying this darling? You cannot mean it" begged Matthew. He tried to take her hands in his but she simply pulled away.

"I do. This cannot last and I was a fool to think it might"

"But what about us? I love you"

"I cannot stay. Not now."

It was breaking Mary's heart to say these things but she had to. What choice did she have? This was about more than her and Matthew now.

"But we are happy Mary. It is meant to be just you and me, together forever."

"It will not work. Richard will not let us be, don't you see? This is better. I was so selfish, this has only hurt my family and your mother too. Think of the shame we are bringing on our families. And I have ruined you too. How can you go back to practicing law when we are living in such sin? No firm would accept you surely if they knew the truth."

"Oh Mary…. I will not be happy with anyone else. Society be damned! Don't you dare tell me every kiss, every touch was a lie."

"It was all in a dream which is now over. Reality is calling me back" She tried to avoid looking into his beautiful eyes.

"I just want to be your Matthew Crawley for always" said Matthew, pleading with her with his eyes.

Mary knew what she had to say to that however much she might not want to. She shut her eyes and forced the words to come out of her mouth.

"But I don't want to be your Mary Crawley. I am Mary Carlisle and I should not forgotten that"

And with that her heart split as she watched Matthew crumple. A tear rolled down her cheek as she went into the bedroom and packed her small case. When she went back to the living room, Matthew was sat with his head in his hands. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small stuffed dog. She placed it in front of Matthew and whispered "I am so sorry. Stay safe." then she left, leaving Matthew alone.

Please review!


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I am sorry about the development in the last chapter but unfortunately it is necessary for the plot. I also will say it is not going to be the happiest story for a bit but it will get happier! So please stick with it because it will be worth it. Promises! **

**Now to the reviews: Thank you so much for them all. They truly are an incentive to write so please to take like half a minute to say something J To the Guest who talked about following the "fridge rent path" I am slightly confused as to what you meant! **

**Anyways, I don't want this note to go on too long, so read on! I hope you'll be comforted slightly by this chapter…**

Chapter 10

Mary stood in front of the door of Downton for several moments before steeling herself to ring the bell. She had not told them she was coming, but that said she had barely known herself. But she felt it was the only place she could go. She did not want to go back to Richard, not yet at least. Just as she was about to ring the bell she spotted Sybil and Sybil saw her. Sybil was so shocked she was momentarily rooted to the spot then she ran forwards, wrenched the door open and pulled her sister into a tight hug before holding her at arm's length to get a good look at her.

Mary broke down into tears. Sybil pulled her close again and made comforting noises into her ear. She did not ask what had happened, no matter how badly she wanted to know, Mary was clearly not ready to share the story of how she came to be at Downton yet.

"Do you want to see mama and papa? Or would you like to come up to my room for a bit before we tell them you're here. You look exhausted darling!" said Sybil gently.

Mary stopped crying long enough to whisper "room" and Sybil took her by the arms and led her upstairs. They were fortunate to meet no one but Anna on the way up who was stunned to see her old mistress.

"Anna, please don't tell anyone that Mary is here just yet. I don't suppose you could bring us up a tray of breakfast?" requested Sybil.

Anna immediately nodded and said "Of course my lady." and immediately went to carry out her task.

When they had gotten into Sybil's room Mary went straight to the bed and sat down on it. Sybil locked the door and went to her vanity to find a handkerchief. She presented it to Mary who looked up at her with tear-filled eyes before giving a small smile in thanks.

Sybil pulled Mary into her arms and they lay on the bed like they used as children when they told each other secrets. She stroked Mary's hair until Mary's breathing became normal but even then she did not ask. They just stayed like that, Sybil waiting for Mary to speak. Then there was a quiet knock on the door. Sybil got up and opened the door to Anna with a tray. She thanked her and took the tray, knowing that Mary did not want anyone to see her at that moment. She set the tray down on a small table next to the bed.

"Mary, you should eat" said Sybil, gently.

Mary simply looked at her for a moment before she pulled herself up into a sitting position and gave a tiny nod of acceptance. She felt drained after the combination of leaving Matthew and then travelling all night to get there. Sybil passed her one of Mrs Patmore's famous blueberry muffins and watched as Mary began to nibble on it. When Mary began to eat she realised that in actual fact she was ravenous. She took larger and larger bites and even reached for another when she had finished. She took several deep gulps of tea and felt so much better than before. It was time to tell Sybil all.

"I had to leave Matthew" she stated.

Sybil frowned.

"Did he mistreat you in any way?"

Mary shook her head and replied "That is the worst part we were happy and I said the most awful things…"

Sybil put her hand over Mary's and looking her directly in the eye said:

"Then why Mary?"

…

Matthew did not want to wake up. He did not want last night to have happened. Had it really happened? Surely it had all been a dreadful nightmare and when he opened his eyes; Mary would be there, smiling. She would have cooked him breakfast and when she was about to leave the room he would pull her to him to kiss her. Surely that is what would happen if he opened his eyes?

No.

The cottage was empty of people except him. He ran his hands over his face before getting up. What to do… He went into the bedroom. All of Mary's stuff was gone. All her clothes , all her jewellery… He found his own case and began to put all his belongings into it. He put no thought into what he was doing, his body completed the actions but he felt dead inside. He couldn't stay here. The war. He would sign up immediately – surely there was no better distraction than a war?

…

Matthew was given a week before he had to report for training. He got on the train to Manchester and went home for the first time in months. To say his mother was surprised to see him was a major understatement. When she opened the door, her hand flew to her mouth and she hugged him tight. She held him back for inspection and said "Oh my very dear boy I am so glad to see you!"

Matthew gave her a tight smile and said "Hello Mother"

"Oh come in, come in" said Isobel. She practically dragged him inside and to the drawing room. When they both had sat down, she suddenly remembered where he had been and why he had not come back. Her smile faltered.

"Matthew… not that I am not pleased to see you, I just feel that you would not have comeback unless something had gone wrong?"

Matthew did not trust his voice just yet. He nodded to say there was truth to his mother's question, and then he cried, something which he had not done since he was quite a small boy. Isobel's heart broke for him and she gathered him into a strong hug. Matthew buried his face in his mother's shoulders as the tears fell.

….

"The war… Matthew… baby…" were all the words that Sybil could comprehend from Mary's muffled speech. Her mind thought over what she had heard before it clicked. Mary was pregnant.

"Mary… Are you going to have a baby?" she asked softly.

Mary's face crinkled with tears again and nodded.

"Oh my dear sister!" cried Sybil and using her thumbs wiped away the tears streaming down mary's face. She grasped both her hands in hers and looked into her eyes. "Is that why you ran?"

"How could I stay? This baby needs a stable home and Matthew and I could not do that… What with this war and the fact that we cannot marry and Richard would always be after us. He would never leave us in peace…"

"But the baby is Matthew's?" said Sybil, wanting to be sure.

Mary nodded.

"And you did not tell him?"

Mary shook her head.

Sybil gave an exasperated sigh. "Why ever not? Surely he would have looked after you?"

Mary shrugged. The truth was yes he would have tried but she did not, could not see how he could have succeeded.

"Have you thought about what to do now?"

Mary looked morosely at her. "I suppose papa will telephone Sir Richard that I am here."

"But what then? Will you tell him about the baby?"

"I suppose I will have to, it's not like it will go away!" Mary gave a slight hysterical laugh.

Sybil rubbed her sister's back to comfort her and said "I will help you as much as I can. I won't let him hurt you."

"You are a darling" said Mary looking down at her hands. Then guilt swept over her. "Oh God Sybil, I was too horrid to Matthew. I cannot stop cringing at the things that I said to him"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Mary buried her head in her hands and began to recount the events of the previous night.

….

"So then she left?" said Isobel.

Matthew had just come to the end of his sad tale and throughout when he told her what Mary had said she had felt more and more sad. How could this woman do this to her son? This woman who her son had ran away from everything he knew for? This woman who her son had left her for!

"She said" His voice broke. "She said 'I am so sorry. Stay safe' and then she left yes." He did not mention the stuffed toy dog, that remained in his pocket as the only bit he still had of her.

"Oh my very dear boy" said Isobel and hugged him tight. She wanted to tell him exactly what she thought of this woman but suspected her son would not appreciate it and so only offered words of comfort.

Matthew stayed silent for a long time before speaking again.

"The oddest thing is I still don't believe that she meant what she said… every direct question she avoided. There must be some reason why she said what she did, why she lied. She must have been lying?" He looked into his mother's eyes, begging her to tell him that she agreed that Mary did love him.

"I don't know Matthew I just don't know" said she.

….

"And then he said 'I just want to be your Matthew Crawley for always' and then I said 'but I don't want to be your Mary Crawley. I am Mary Carlisle and I should not have forgotten that' and the n he crumpled. Oh God Sybil, it is going to haunt me forever." Mary closed her eyes as if warding off a bright light. His face would plague her nightmares every night, she was sure of it. "He did not deserve it but I had to leave?" She seemed to be pleading with Sybil to say she was right.

Sybil was not sure she could agree so only said "You did what you thought was right. You have to protect the baby and you."

"I suppose we should tell papa and mama now"

"Are you sure? I can tell them if you wish" offered Sybil.

"That is sweet but no I should tell them. I did cause it all after all".

...

Robert and Cora were shocked beyond belief when their eldest daughter walked into the library to which Sybil had summoned them.

"Mary?!" they both said at the same time feeling truly shocked.

"Hello" said Mary in a small voice.

When she had recovered, Cora was so pleased to see her daughter. Robert on the other hand, when he recovered, was very very angry. He rounded on her.

"How dare you just turn up here after you have been off gallivanting? Do you know what you have put your mother and me through? How worried we have been and think of the shame you could have brought on the family if you had been discovered!" By the time he said the last bit he was yelling.

Mary was not fazed. Her faced remained impassive the entire time that her father shouted. When he stopped she said "I am sorry Papa".

He continued: "What were you thinking?"

Mary did not think she could explain. She said without emotion "I do not know. I was silly and reckless and I should not have done it I know."

"Well I am glad you regret it at least" said Robert, turning away from her and beginning to pace.

Mary raised her eyebrows. "Oh I would not go that far."

Robert stopped in his tracks and turned and stared at her.

"Oh Lord give me strength!" he exclaimed.

"Robert!" said Cora. "She came back did she not?"

"There is something else" said Mary quietly.

"Please tell me you did not come back here to tell us that you want to get a divorce. You know that is not possible for our kind of people" said Robert, feeling like his mother was speaking not him.

"No, I do not plan to ask for a divorce. Although Richard may divorce me" She paused. "I am going to have a baby and before you ask no, it is definitely not Richard's" said Mary, carefully while looking at her feet.

Cora gave a gasp of shock while Robert simply stood dumfounded.

"So" said Mary, facing them defiantly, "What are you going to do with me then?"

Robert hesitated before he said "Well it is not up to me anymore. Your husband will decide I expect"

"Will you telephone him?" asked Mary, trying to remain as calm as she could.

"Yes I expect I will have to" replied her father.

….

"Sir Richard" said Robert.

"Hello Lord Grantham" said Richard. "May I ask why you are telephoning?"

"Yes, well the thing is… Mary is here" said Robert.

Richard smirked. "I see, well I shall be up on the next possible train then at 12 o'clock then".

"I will have my chauffer meet you at the station" said Robert, before hanging up.

Richard was pleased, the start of the war it seemed, had solved his problem for him.

….

After briefly greeting Lord Grantham he asked where he might find Mary. In the library he was told.

Mary had heard him enter the house. She had sat, preparing herself, as her husband greeted her father. She tried to remain expressionless as she heard footsteps coming closer. Richard was smiling when he came into the library; his eyes were piercing hers with a sort of cruel satisfied glee.

"So you decided to come back then" was all he said.

"Yes, yes I did" said Mary softly.

"Did Mr Crawley not want you anymore?" he said, his voice full of venom.

Mary said nothing.

"I suppose you want me to take you back" said Richard, pacing the room.

Mary laughed. "Do not lie to me Richard; you have been waiting for this moment". She knew exactly how he worked.

He took her hand in his and kissed it. "You must know how much you mean to me" said he, his words dripping with sarcasm. He continued, confidently: "But you are back and now things can go on as before."

Mary laughed, he would not be expecting what she was about to tell him. Richard frowned at her.

"Well then you will be pleased to hear what I am about to tell you" said Mary, smiling sweetly while her eyes were filled with hate.

Richard stared at her, unsure. He had a horrible feeling he knew what she was going to say.

"You are not saying that you are pregnant Mary" said Richard; his hands were closing around her wrists so she could not move away. He was gripping her so tightly that she could feel bruises beginning to form.

"Yes, yes I am" she replied. She could see the rage building up in his eyes but she knew he could not really hurt her in her parent's house. Could he?

"And you think I will play father to this child?" said Richard.

"If you want to keep me as your trophy wife, you have no choice" she pointed out.

Richard slapped her hard across her face. Mary's hand immediately went to cover up her now flaming cheek. She did not cry out. She would not give him the satisfaction. She looked at him as if to say well, what are you going to do now?

Richard pulled her up from the sofa and then pushed her against the book case; his arm went across her throat so she could not breathe. She was right and he knew it. He could not afford to have her hidden away for another nine months; people would definitely begin to get suspicious. His reputation, his power mattered above all else.

"You think you can best me in this little game of ours? Hmm? Do you? I will not stop you having this baby and you had better be grateful. Do not cross me again. Ever. Do you hear? Or there will be devastating consequences. You have given me the power to destroy you." Richard pressed his lips to hers and then released her. Mary fell forward, gasping.

Richard turned away from her and straightened his jacket. "I will ask Robert if you can stay here and I will come up and visit you as often as I can. People already think you are ill. They will not question this decision to stay in the countryside during the…" he paused. "pregnancy. He left the room.

Mary sat against the bookcase. Had this really been the right choice?

**A/N So what do you think? At least Mary did not run straight back to Richard. I know its kinda darkening but again stick with it. Please review, they are motivational and the last ones pushed me to write the longest chapter ever!**


	11. Chapter 11

**I AM SO SORRY FOR THE DELAY. I Promise posting will be more constant from now on :) Please reviewww**

There were no words to describe how Matthew felt. That is perhaps because he had stopped feeling. He had been training for almost six weeks and he felt completely numb. How else could he cope with the loss of Mary? Training had proved a good distraction. There was barely any time to think. Their instructors had them at work all day and night pushing and pushing them until they could barely move from the exhaustion. They had all heard that the war was causing many casualties – many dying each day. For many of the men, this was a worry, for Matthew it seemed to barely matter.

…

It had been almost two months. Two whole months since she had left Matthew. For Mary, it all came back to Matthew. When she felt sad, she became even sadder thinking about what Matthew would say to cheer her up. On the rare occasions that she laughed, she found herself desperately wishing that Matthew was there to share the moment with her. Most of all, she thought one thought over and over again – Oh Mary what have you done! And she felt one emotion constantly accompanying any others – regret.

Richard had been up to see her only three times. Each visit was accompanied by many patronising comments and a horrible glint in Richard's eye which seemed to promise to her that she was going to pay in bucket loads for this pregnancy, for her affair. Richard was due to arrive shortly for a night. He had telephoned to say he could not stay longer as planned as business called. This seemed to be the case during every one of his visits… She had a small but obvious baby bump now and this seemed to anger Richard even more – seeing the evidence of another man's child growing underneath his wife's dress.

Just as she was in mid thought Carson announced Richard. Richard strode into the room with an arrogant air and Mary grudgingly, let him kiss her hand in greeting.

"How are you?" said Richard.

"Well thank you. Our little boy is doing well I think" responded Mary while placing a hand on her stomach. In all honesty she thought the baby was a girl, but the thought of it being a boy made Richard so very annoyed which she loved to see. As after all, if it was a boy then they would inherit Richard's vast fortune…

At her words, Richard's face went wooden. He did not make any comment but he turned away and Mary could hear him breathing heavily with not quite concealed rage. She smiled to herself, every time Richard visited she tried to be impossible in the hope that it would mean he would visit less. It was proving to be a good tactic. In the last two months she had seen him only three times. She decided to move onto some other touchy subjects – names and homes.

"Where will we live after the baby is born?" she asked.

Richard sat in an adjacent chair and thought before answering.

"In the London house" said he, shortly.

"How are the children?" inquired Mary.

"I have sent them to stay with their aunt for a while, at least till the baby is born and a little while after too perhaps" said Richard.

"Do people know I am pregnant yet? What did they say?"

"Yes" was all the reply she got.

Mary looked at her hands in her lap and pursed her lips.

"I have been thinking about names" said Mary. "I thought Henry Matthew for a boy and Violet Cora for a girl."

Richard looked furious.

"How dare you? Henry MATTHEW?!"

"Well I like Henry and Matthew is the father" said Mary as though it was obvious and speaking like she could not understand Richard's anger although of course she could.

Richard closed his eyes as though warding off a bright light.

"You are in dangerous territory Mary."

"My child deserves a part of its real father" said Mary before muttering "And even absent he will surely be a better father than you"

Richard lost his temper and slapped her hard across her right cheek. Mary's hand went straight to her now smarting and slightly bleeding cheek.

"I do not want to hear another word of this. You are my wife and you will act accordingly. I am here for one night only and" he whispered the last part in her ear. "It has been too long."

Mary's eyes widened in shock. He had not tried anything past the occasional peck since her return and she would not go further. As she began shaking her head in disagreement Richard only gave her a look before leaving the room.

…

Isobel Crawley heard things. She was a very cunning women and one of her greatest skills was her ability to find out information about people. Since Matthew had returned she had been trying to find out as much as she could about Richard and Mary Carlisle and only a day ago had she come across the most disturbing piece of news – that Mary Carlisle was with child.

That day Matthew would return from training for two weeks before he left for France. Should she tell him? Would it even be his? Isobel was awash with doubt although if it was his then it would all make sense. This was surely the reason why Mary had been so cruel to her dear dear son. She would mention it she decided. Matthew may not come back from France like so many others and surely he had the right to know if he was to become a father. She herself wanted to know if she was going to be a grandmother. This would be her grandchild, perhaps her only one ever – someone to love if Matthew was killed.


End file.
